Insta-Confidence - How to be confident using Instagram

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"

Eleanor Roosevelt 

I am positive, I am self assured, I am fearless. I am positive that the red bag is a better purchase choice than the blue, I am self assured when holding said handbag, I am fearless of the repercussions of bringing the bag home. Shopping confidence probably wasn't what Sunita was referring to when she set me a confidence related task at her meetup last week.

The task given? Describe confidence in three words, its actually a lot harder than you think. It triggered a whole thought process around the subject that has led me to writing this post.

It highlighted areas in my life that I am confident in, where I can comfortably say to myself "I've got this." It did however flag up many more areas that, lets just say, I am less than pumped up about. Now I wouldn't describe myself as a gutsy person (apart from when it comes to cake) nor a meek person, I think like most things in life its a balance. But seeing as it highlighted many an area of contemplation I thought I would write it out, cue confidence related posts....

First up Instagram/social media

It took me a few months to actually pluck up the courage to start an Instagram feed, looking back now I have no idea why. I had a bit of a "whats the point" attitude, why put myself in a position where I could be ridiculed. Now that I am a mum I shouldn't be flouncing about taking pictures of makeup - how juvenile. I should be sensible and just be a mum as expected of me because that's a better way to be right? best stay safe. However as a SAHM, social media had kinda become my window to the world and the temptation to join the party overhauled my "what will people think" fears. And so it began, The more pics I added, the more people followed, the more comments I got. Hhmmm quite like this actually.
Six months, one blog and a Youtube channel later, I can now comfortably say I am a confident Instagrammer - FIST PUMP.

So seeing as we are on the confidence cliche bandwagon and I've come over all guru, I might as well put my two penny's worth in and give you my top tips for Insta-confidence - cringe but I know your going to read and relate (wow how confident of me)

1) Just do it - buy that pair of Nikes, sorry wrong subject. Just start a feed, there's loads of non identity type pics you can choose from, feet pics, holding out an ice cream, or dog selfies to name but a few. Then you can build yourself up to more personal things and even do the dreaded selfie! (If that's your thing of course! a feed full of your stamp collection pics might not be the place for a gurn debut)
No one has to know who you are if you don't want them too, show as much or as little as you want. And when I say as much as you like, I'm not talking about nudeyness, confident yes, but there's a limit y'know

2) Make some mates - just force your friendship upon people, they always give in in the end! either that or they block you (chill out love!) Luckily people I started chatting with have accepted my weird and wonderful ways. Just chat to people, make comments and like pics that interest you to get the ball rolling. Show interest and people do the same back, the Insta mum/fashion/beauty community is great! not everyone you come across will be so accepting, think mean girls cliques (they are everywhere even on Instagram) you know the ones who were probably popular at school and its defined the type of person they are for the rest of their lives? bless. But hey, they are twats anyway so who cares what in joke they have today, jog on. For every mean girl there's a handful of nice people, its the nice ones make it worth it, but then isn't that the way with any human interaction in life?

3) Chill out - take it for what it is - a social media app of pictures, if you take it too seriously then you will get yourself in a mind pickle. For example, you put a pic up where you think your out fit is FIT, you think "yes! i've nailed it" you swiftly put it on Instagram waiting for the likes to roll in. They don't. Then to add insult to injury you get a solitary comment from a spammy account saying "get more followers." you have to take it with a pinch of salt, don't get me wrong its fab to get positive comments etc but if it doesn't happen then so be it. Don't think because, for example, people haven't liked an outfit that it doesn't work, maybe everyone's just out and they've left their phone at home....or there's no internet connection.....or maybe it actually is just genuinely awful but in the grand scheme of things does it really matter? at the end of the day its just an outfit. Does that mean you should never wear it again? no it means its what YOU like and what makes you you, do you really need a stranger to give you permission?

4) Followers - Some people are in it purely for the numbers, I constantly have the same accounts following and unfollowing, the tactic to get more followers. Don't get offended by it, if they are in it for the numbers then it shows that they are not interested in your (or any) feed no matter how good it is. Interactivity with a small number of like minded people is way more fun than gaining empty, want nothing to do with you. numbers

5) Is it Instaworthy? - OMG did you seriously just add a picture in the wrong colour theme? how shocking of you. Don't get me wrong its nice to look at well organised/designed themes but simply put "I ain't got time for that" I don't know how people do it. I suggest not losing sleep over it but just putting up pics that you like, in fact the majority of feeds I follow do not have colour themes.
I do catch myself looking at the 20 pics I have taken of the same thing wondering if it is good enough for Instagram, but i'm coming to the point now where, yes I have to be happy with it but no need to agonise. I recently put up a pic of me in a hat saying I wasn't confident enough to wear it (how contradictory of me) my face is scrunched up, i'm holding a dog, my husband is lurking in the background, its defo not text book Insta worthy - yet I had a lot of likes and comments! My experience is that people prefer a pic to tell a story of some sort rather than it being perfect. Although that basic yet perfect coffee cup & pastry shot in the morning continues to grab my attention LIKE

My coffee every morning...JOKE! I draw other shapes too silly

Aren't we fortunate that we can write posts like this? - how to gain confidence in social media. What a complete and utter first world problem, we need to get it in perspective, take it for what it is and enjoy it.

So what are my three words? I guess you will have to check out my Instagram feed to find out