Sunday 2 October 2016

MISSING - Identity AWOL


I know what your thinking, it sounds a bit, well, wanky. I will give you that one, partially, say 35% but for the other 65% on some level you can relate to it. Once you have a baby you change, in fact even from the moment of conception there is some kind of metamorphosis. We can kid ourselves that things won't change, you will always don your signature red lippy, rock your skinny jeans and sport the french plait that you finally mastered. The truth can actually be summarised in three words: 


CAN'T BE ARSED


After a night of frequent wake up calls, a 5 am start and a toddler tantrum over Rice Krispies, the last thing you are thinking about is your contour. And if you are one of the few who are, well you obviously don't originate from this planet, take off your mask and go home before Scooby Doo finds you (only a slight hint of jealousy there)

After the birth of my first child I completely lost all sense of self, I was just an empty vessel that had acquired a small being that needed my full attention. I was just going through the motions, from a me point of view that is, giving myself a quick "passable" once over to get by. And not just because I didn't have much time but I just wasn't interested. I was by no means a glam mum but I also wasn't in the realms of PND, I was just kinda invisibly hovering in the middle with the occasional swing towards each direction. Sure in my post natal hormonal haze I made a few purchases in an attempt to spruce myself up, I shouldn't have bothered. They were not good buying decisions and those items now have a home in the "what were you thinking" hall of fame. I should open it up for admittance to the general public, people will come from far and wide to marvel at the clothes that someone actually bought. They will laugh and have a great day out. The word would spread. I will sell snacks. Souvenir keyrings and fridge magnets are just the tip of the iceberg. I feel that my first million may just be made right there.

I slowly started to gain back my interest of beauty and fashion, however not too long after having my first child I was pregnant again...hello surprise child no.2. I was immediately reverted back to my default factory setting of CBA, jogger wearing, cake eating self. Lip balm was as glam as it got.
Now I know this is my own doing, just because I was pregnant/had a newborn/was a mum, did't mean I had to completely let it go. I do however partly blame Frozen's Elsa for her subliminal message on repeat.

So now that I have pointed out what we all know i'm going to plow on and completely contradict myself. It is really important to at least attempt to keep your identity, believe it or not you are actually your own person. I understand it might be difficult to comprehend that you are not just a bodily fluid mopper upperer. But you are in fact a woman in your own right. Are you struggling with this information? well whilst we are in a state of confusion I might as well break it to you that the earth also is in fact round. 

I've learnt this lesson the hard way and I want to try and prevent this happening to other women to the same degree. We all have our off days but when it comes to wearing your p'js on the Tesco run you know your on the slippery slope #truestory

So I started blogging to give myself a kick up the bum and keep myself on track and hopefully readers too. Now i'm not saying that your hairstyle choice or the coat you are wearing is going to define you as a person, however its a good (and fun!) starting point when trying to discover who the frig you are now.
What is it they say, if you believe you are something you become it? if I blog about beauty and fashion I might just become, dare I say it, fashionable? This theory doesn't apply when it comes to Beyonce, no matter how hard I shake my ass I just can't seem to get anywhere near diva status.

I am going to continue to blog about beauty, fashion, mum life, heck I might even throw in a bit of fitness (who am I kidding) maybe even have a dabble with baking (ha! made myself laugh with that one) because actually I think its alright being little ole me, aside from being the superstar mum (snigger) I quite like what i've discovered so far about my new identity and I am going to try* and keep it.

*Please note the use of the word try, other more positive words available
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4 comments

  1. Kim, loving the new look of the blog and great post! 👍🏽 Xx 😘

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  2. Hehe! Love this, I'm sort of at the start of trying to find myself again... your posts are helping - keep them coming :)
    Nikki xx

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